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A well-dressed young woman walks down the street. Towards a year, a homeless woman who has not washed herself in a dirty hoodie with matted dirty hair and a corresponding amber. Homeless woman: - Madam, give $ 2 for lunch. Madame, taking 10 dollars out of her wallet: - Tell me, just honestly, if I give you 10 and not 2 dollars - you will probably buy wine? Bomzhikha: - What are you! I knitted it many years ago. - Or maybe you will go shopping instead of buying food? - No, no, what is there, food is more important to me! - Or maybe you go to them in a hairdresser or a beauty salon? - You are crazy: I haven't been to a hairdresser for 20 years! Madame: - In that case, I wil
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A man goes fishing, sees his neighbor in the country sitting in a pole, and in front of him Kafelnikov and Safin are playing tennis. - Hey, how are you? ... - This is my Goldfish wish fulfilled! - Where did you get it? - Yes, in our pond, right behind the reeds, only she is already old, fulfills only one desire and almost does not hear a damn thing! The man immediately rushed to the pond, in general, he caught it. Well, the fish is really old. The tail is peeled off, there are practically no scales, the mouth is hooked. Well, he speaks in a human voice. - I am already old, I can only fulfill one desire! And speak louder, otherwise I have become deaf - I want a lot of money! - What so much? - Dollars! - What? - BUCKS! LOTS OF BUCKS! - A-ah-ah-ah! Got it. I'll do it. Go yourself with God! Will you... wha ... Read more » |
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A man comes to a pet store: |
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Yesterday I am going in a minibus, full of people, everyone is silent, who is thinking about what. At the bus stop, a place is vacated immediately behind the driver, on which a young mother, 22-23 years old, sits with a girl of years 4. That is, she sits with her back forward and facing the whole people. As soon as the minibus started, the girl began to whine about "Mom, buy me a barbie", and in different ways, very drawn-out and mournful. To which mommy whined to her tone "why do you need a barbie, you already have three pieces, it might be better to buy a coloring book, etc." All this nagging was pretty good not only for me, but for all the passengers. A
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Husband and wife celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary in a restaurant. A fairy appears and says: - For being 35 years together - make a wish. Wife: - I want to travel with my husband. Bang! She has two tickets for the liner in her hands. Husband's turn. He thought and said: - It's all good, but such a chance comes once in a lifetime, I want my wife 30 years younger. The wife is in shock, the fairy is in shock - but desire is desire. Bang! And the husband became a 92-year-old man. Moral: Ungrateful men, remember, fairies are women too!!!!!)))) |
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A bunny is walking through the forest, he saw a squirrel and fell in love. - Squirrel, let's get together? - Come on. They live happily, but they just can't make children. The bunny says: - This is probably because I am a bunny, and you are a squirrel. - Probably. - Let's go ask the owl for advice, she's wise. We came to the owl. The bunny says: - Owl, here we live together, we love each other, but there are no children. This is probably because I am a bunny, she is a squirrel. - Are you completely drove your head or what? It's because you are a boy and she is a boy !!! |